All of this resonates - my h told his mother that we separated by mutual consent. My eldest son put her right on that one, at which point she became totally furious at h and has remained extremely angry with him.
Apparently it is my responsibility that my h doens't have an r with his kids! [Because I took his leaving so badly!]
But when you think about it the whole MLC script is a denial of respnsibility 'We got married too young' And???
'I never should have married you' Who made you and why did you stay so long?
'I was never in love with you' So why did you keep saying so . . .
None of this is their fault; they take no resopnsiblity for their failure.
I am not saying our marriages were perfect, but marriage requires two committed people working at it, not one working their butt off. Frnakly I am amazed at how many of you are still wondering 'What could I have done' in the face of the clear insanity that our WAS displayed and continue to display. That some [many?] of them do wake up and acknowledge their folly and madness is an indication that it really is all about them.
At the risk of sounding very arrogant, I am worth ten of my h at present, and he was very lucky to have been married to me. That he threw that away is his loss!
I lost a wonderful husband and the kids a wonderful father - one person. He has lost 4 people. And really has no-one except an unstable, self centred and rather stupid woman and her very probelmatic kids [truly this is not me being horrible: they have real problems]. It seems a pathetic exchange to any sane person.
And finally - yes I think a lot of this is about sexual anxiety, a deep seated sense of inadequacy, and a failure of confidence.
