I see your point however I did subsequently apologize to fig on a later thread. You know me, man. I don't give two hoots about people slamming me. I can take it. I apologized to fig publicly because I dissed her publicly and later, all by myself, I came to feel that I had been wrong. Simply put, I owed it to her.
Your reply tells me that I haven't been clear. The AmyC / Lissie / Fig 'situation' is ancient history and has no meaning to me. Once again: My comments aren't about 'amyc' or 'fig' or 'lissie' or anybody. I'm not defending nor attacking anybody.
We're past that now. So let's everyone please put their egos on hold and think about this:
Quote:
Do we sometimes find ourselves obsessing about someones situation? Do we sometimes put someone on a pedestal so we can cheer for them and forget our own difficult lives? Is that healthy for us?
And, I'm going to add this since it came to mind:
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Is it healthy for the person we admire, who is also in the same situation we're in RIGHT NOW, to be put under pressure to 'live up' to our expectations?
Could this kind of 'projection' have had an effect on our marriages also? Did we 'defend vigorously' our positions or ideas, even when there may not have actually been a threat?
I'm looking for some serious feedback here.
Ian? Amy? Annie? Don't you sometimes fell pressured when you hear "Oh you are so great! You're the master DB'er!" or any other over the top praise?
I know I do.
Everyone else, don't you sometimes think that you KNOW what is going on in someones sitch, and if someone says otherwise, well, you're going to have to 'straighten them out'? Then later you find out you were mistaken?
I know that sometimes I do.
Every one of you who are reading this, ask your self these questions. Are you putting a lot of weight on the success or failure of someones marriage as a way to 'live vicariously' through their drama? Maybe if they win, you'll win too? Or maybe if they FAIL, your failure wouldn't mean so much - to you?
I know that there are a few people here who I follow too closely, and I have an emotional 'investment' in the outcome. What about you?
This board is a place where we can look at ourselves, we can examine our lives and our relationships, and hopefully LEARN something about how we manage relationships.
So please, put your egos aside for a moment and think about what I've just said. Look inside and see if there's anything in my words that applies to your life.
