Hurdles and pressing forward......

[Between Tears]

A-14, Snodderly and SWL,

Thank you! Just having your support, helped give me the strength to go to last night's football game with a smile and my inner glow intact.

As you probably guessed, Dick went to the homecoming game with Jane, her two daughters (nope, her son's weren't there, nor do I believe they are welcomed to attend events with Dick, cause he doesn't like either one of them.) Dick's father, and his brother also arrived.

I enjoyed the game, enjoyed my friends, my time, and owned my space! I felt totally comfortable the entire time... of course noticing Dick has a mullet cut really was the icing on the cake, which everytime he wondered into my peripheral vision caused me to laugh! Oh, Jane hung all over him, and both sets of eyes were constantly watching me.... not S, who was in the field playing his heart out.

The people who recognized him, came to me, asked me how I was doing... I told them all the same thing, which was "grateful and thankful"... for I thought to myself about the past I have finally left behind. I couldn't imagine holding on to a man for dear life, while he was watching his ex-wife's every move! Each person who talked to me, mentioned Dick looked really bad, he has aged at least 20 years, looks terrible and very unhappy..... I just smiled with acknowledgement.

At the end of the game, the crowd (family and friends) join the players on the field to congratulate(or console)the players. Apparently Dick didn't know this, but quickly caught on... As I was walking towards the boys, I see Dick (out of the corner of my eye) speed walking to catch up (leaving Jane way back at the bleachers), while constantly keeping an eye on me, and trying to intersect my future steps.... I kept on walking as if he wasn't there, and didn't exist, but I have to say I was amazed because this was the first time I had seen him without a walker or cane and moving faster than I have seen him in over a year!

I reach S two steps before Dick, while S gives me a hug. The cheerleaders ask me to take pictures of a group of them, allowing me to turn my back to Dick. I was fumbling four cameras, taking a picture with each camera, of the handsome group which included my S. The kids were all talking to me, as we were all talking and joking around. Dick tried to become a part of what was going on, he began to talk louder, yet still facing towards me, then finally S responded to something he said. The crowd started to wonder back to their cars, and I just walked away, not even giving Dick a glance.

Snodderly, you know how you and I have wondered what the xh's would do if they thought we were involved? Well, I have this male friend who played "the part" with me.... it left old Dick squirming and watching our every move. Both kids were asked who the guy was that was with me, as they both know his name, know we are just friends, but just gave Dick his name, without any explanation.

Dick allowed both kids to stay for the dance which followed the game.... he told both kids he'd be here at 10:00am this morning to pick them up. Well, at 11:45 he finally showed up, the kids left, telling me they were going over to their Aunts for the night, but were happy to see that Jane and her kids weren't anywhere in sight. I've had text messages from both of them, and it seems at this time, they are both quite content.

As for who is telling Dick what is going on in our home, my guess it's S. Although, much of what Dick has reported to not only SRS but the court too, has been grossly altered to fit his needs. I'm sure he'd call just after D and I went to take showers, finding S home alone, not knowing S preferred to take his shower in the morning and took them then. My manager has already told me she will join me in court to report this fact too. We took showers where I work during the time we waited for the plumber to show up, while the sewer line was backing up. Dick used a tidbit of the information, (or a bit of the truth) then expanded the information with his own lies to make it sound as though I favored D over S.

He blantantly lied about me not purchasing parts to fix S's car... I have the receipts to prove I was the one who has tried to help him... Dick also knows I bought the parts, but he felt the need to lie anyway. I was the one who replaced the badly worn tires Dick had on the vehicle and promised S he would replace, and never did, nor did he even try to pay me back, a clear sign of his attitude towards the children's true needs.

Dick's line of BS is just like all the rest of the lies and distortion he has lived with for the past 5+ years. Now that I've had time to step away from the paperwork, I realize how rediculous all of it seems... and if I am able to find an attorney who will take my case, it should easily be a cake walk, for I do have all the receipts and paperwork just waiting to be used.

The kids counselor, along with my counselor have both told me they want to help me and will do what it takes. I told them both months ago that Dick's next move is to try to take the children from me. The counselor has asked both children IF they want to live with their father, as both have replied, "No way, we want to stay here." The (my) SRS agent is aware that SRS has already found symptoms of emotional abuse in Janes home, and knows the agent involved with her (Jane's) case and is in contact with her.

So, I still have my worked cut out for me, BUT, if I can find an attorney who will go the distance and do the work, I just might have the peace I've been searching for by Christmas and what a present it will be!

Take care of you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[job]

Laughing,
You did exceptionally well with the game and being around Dick. Dick doesn't realize that Jane's situation will gravely affect the outcome if he attempts to take the children away from you. I'm so glad you avoided him as much as possible. His pattern has always been nice and then stricks out at you. I honestly don't trust him.

I'm also glad to see that you have a number of people in your corner who will go to bat for you. This will help you in the long run. I hope and pray that you can find a lawyer that will take this on and yes, Laughing, I would also file for harassment as well. It's time that this crap stop and the only way to do it is to strike when the iron is hot.

Christmas isn't that far off and I'm hoping that things will settle down for you by that time. Let's hope and pray that the new year will be a better one for you.

Take care and know that we are all here for you.

[mojo]

Hi Laughing

At one time I was getting in to trouble as a result of what the children were telling my ex. I taked to the children and explained that I was a private person and would appreciate if they didn't talk to anyone about my/our private matters. the children didn't understand what private matters were and so I explained it to them. My problems continued and I received a lot of correspondance. I knew that it was my son who was telling and admittedly my ex was twisting. Eventually I showed my son the correspondance. He understood and stopped. I've never looked back.

Good luck!

[Goinbatty]

I continue to be amazed at what an x will come up with in their distorted thoughts. My x 2 in her observations of me over the last couple of years has determined that I am rolling around in the sheets with a petite blond. Hardly anywhere near the truth.
The lady I've known for close to thirty years was having a difficult time dealing with the passing of her father, and the her mother seriously losing her marbles. I've been known to have a sympathetic ear and listened, some gentle counsel and granted it was in public space, as it should be. Space cadet has determined I'm rolling around in the sheets with her from x2's observations. Funny, my lady friend's husband has thanked me over and over again for taking the time to listen and console his wife. He's told me several times if it wasn't for me, she'd be "a basket case". Rolling around in the sheets never crossed my mind. I continue to be amazed at what x's come up with in those distorted minds.
Meanwhile, had a short conversation with my former youngest step son the other evening passing through a store. Pleasant. He seemed to be doing well starting his first year of college.
Unfortunately, my observations of his attire has created a moral ethical professional dilemma for me, as his mother, must be oblivious. I think it is influence from his older brother if you know what I mean. I'm going to run this past Ms$3M before I do anything.
Former roomate has checked in, set for some drinks and dinner when she touches down in a couple of weeks from her travels. Ms $3M is returning from her global travels in a few days. Picking up a distant co worker at the airport Monday and out of courtesy thought I would be kind enough to take her out to dinner since she's only been in my town once before, and I did take her out to dinner about a year or two back, out of courtesy (remember I travel for a living so I know how it is setting down in a strange town). Well, seems my office is all abuzz about this picking up at the airport and dinner, when I got back Friday from a week on the road. WTF!
I'm really sick of this BS like you are L.
I'm just trying to move along in life! Just as you.
Sorry to step on the thread. I needed to vent.

[brueniap]

This whole sitch has brot the tears for sure today Laughing. O how I wish you were done with this mess.
Dear Lord.........please give Laughing the strength she needs to carry thru and be done with this horrible situation she lives with from day to day. This ex is a nightmare. I pray for Your touch and miracles in Laughing's life.....and for blessing upon blessing on her children.


God bless you......you continue to be in my thots and prayers.

brue

[always_14]

WHAT??

A mullet cut and hobbling on a walker/cane???

That ALONE should make you get on your knees and thank GOD that you are not with this man....

Sheesh.

[Between Tears]

Brue,

Thank you so very much. I'm praying I'll find an attorney that will help me recapture my life. I'm tired of all of this, and pray that it will be over soon.

Dick came by to take S's car, claiming he was just here to take "his" car. What he really wanted to do was harass me before court. Something I have seen time and time again.

I told him to get off my property, that he wasn't welcomed here as long as the children weren't at home. He lingered, then walked over to the neighbor to complain about me.

I called the Sheriff's department, but once again, he left before their arrival.

The Sheriff told me since the car is in his name, he has rights to it. However, I have rights' to keep him off my property. He can have the car back after the court, and not a minute sooner. I'm sure he will have something to say about today's events in court too..... I hope that I'll be able to ask him then, "Well, tell me, is it S's car, or is it your car?"

You see, I have purchased the parts for the car to be repaired, unlike what Dick has stated in his court paperwork....I just wanted S to learn how to make the repairs himself, to give him an opportunity to learn some independence.

How easily Dick says one thing, as it is S's car, when he wants to use it against me.... and another thing, that it is his (Dick) car, when he is doing something else.

What ever it takes to control the situation...

He also told the neighbor that he plans on taking the kids on Thursday after court. I hope and pray I will find justice on Thursday, and my children's wants and needs are met. I can't imagine them having to live with this man....... He doesn't want them, he just wants to have control.

Thanks again Brue...

Love,

Laughing

[Between Tears]

A-14,

When you describe it the way you do... he sounds so comical!

Yes, I am grateful for being released from a bad situation so that once again, I was able to find my real self and experience life without needing denial.

Take care!

Love,

Laughing

[brueniap]

Laughing,
What happened to the lawyer you did have? Why won't they take your case? I have prayed for you today........but I will be more direct about the lawyer thing.

This is so ridiculous that you are a victim of this kind of abuse and the system allows it!

how could anyone allow abuse from a man who has a mullet cut? What's that about? That should be enough to have him run outta town when he's home.

How can 2 people who are married......living in separate states....dating other people.......win over the judge's heart as model parents?

I can't fathom any of this AT ALL!!

brue

[Between Tears]

Brue,

The problem stems with me.... my inability to talk about my situation, talk about the abuse in person. I'm learning, very slowly, but I am making progress.

You see, somewhere along the line I picked up shame. I wrapped this shame around me very tightly, along with my denial. The denial helped me by deluting the shame to a point I couldn't see it for what it was. You see, my problem also involved ego... for I felt that I was much too smart to be in the situation that I was in.

In the dance steps of abuse, this shame is manipulated by the abuser... this shame helps them maintain the secrets of what is going on behind closed dooors, how they keep the victim from speaking to anyone about what is going on. Certainly, if the ego didn't take a step or two in this dance, the shame would be easier to disolve.

You see, I have had the key to unlock some of the doors, but until just recently, was too ashamed of giving it a try.

Dick has been able to broadcast the abuse charges without fear of judgement, for they have been untrue.... but my own fear of judgement, has been standing in my way. It is why Dick appears to be the victim all along.

I just need to continue to grow stronger.... in order to help myself.

Take care...

Love,

Laughing