If you feel you need to go dark for your sanity then that's a valid thing to do.
One thing you must keep in mind is that prize may never come. You are doing the best you can to keep your family together, and if this goes down you can go down with it knowing you did all you could. You will have no regrets. The main thing I always say is go down looking great. It will give OM much more to live up to!
My guess about your wife being a "weird bird" is she really knows how to push your buttons and is doing everything she can to do that. You have to STOP taking this personal. When you actually are detached it won't be punch to you, she'll be just flailing her fists in the air. You're kind of above it thinking to youself.... hummmm... interesting.... and saying to her, "Well, I understand," and when appropriate, "You're right. you're mentally and emotionally removed. Try to get there. Don't expect to change your wife or the course of this, but make sure she goes out with good memories of what a great guy you were and has to eventually face her own regret.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
