I ask myself how long I can do this. I don't know.
And more than once I ask myself why I am doing it. I don't know.
I think we all ask these same questions.
I do know that, for me, it shouldn't matter how long I can do this. If I am successful at GAL and detaching, what H does and does not do shouldn't matter. Waiting for him for a year, two years or whatever shouldn't matter if I am moving on with my life. The only way it should matter is if I find someone or I want to date again. And that thought is so far from my mind.... As far as putting up with the crap that seems to go with a MLCer, whether or not a D happens probably won't change this. Since we have children together, I am going to be connected to him for the rest of my life.
Now that my brave talk is out there, I will tell you that it does matter to me too. I wonder the same thing that you do - we are human - how long can we take this rollercoaster ride?
And why? As Cinders said, only you can answer this. I think we all ask this question.... I know I do and I sometimes question my sanity for wanting to hold on to my little sliver of hope.
There are so many questions out there that we all want answers to, and the frustration is that we may never get them...
