Your post was like a long stream-of-consciousness poem. I think I follow for the most part.
Why do your friends want nothing to do with you? What are you doing to find new friends?
You say you're happy with yourself. I'd be curious to know what your goals are. Is becoming your old, happy-go-lucky self the only one? This probably isn't the time to start telling your W what you need, but has she said anything to you about what she needs? Are you giving it to her? Sounds like the two of you being honest and clear about what you want would be a big step.
