Forrest Gump and his box of choclates.

[Forrest Gump]

Better

I did not take any offence to what you said at all. I am who I am. I am ok with that. I hope in posting about myself the way I post about other people and their stitch goes to show I don't mean it to be hurtful or offend.

Cliffy

Thanks for the comment. I hope I make sense to most people. I am the post ender for some reason. Seems like every time I post it gets real quiet.

Christarn

Yes we are still living together. I think you read a little too much into the "I am the Man" thing. That is not something I would ever say outloud. Most people that know me would say I am really laid back and quiet. I am happy with myself and I know who I am. I was just never taught how to communicate/love when someone elses perception was different. We are all guilty of expecting someone to be a mind reader. I am trying to be as upbeat and positive as possible. I have done a reasonable job. I have concentrated on me, rebuilding my realtionships with my kids, and my family. GAL has been a bit more difficult as I have had to distance myself from my friends. My friends are telling me GTF out. They want me to leave and encourage me to do so. I find myself defending my actions. I am just not that good at making new friends being quiet and reserved does not help. What she fell in love with was the happy go lucky attitude I had. Issue was that turned into never getting concerned about anything (Her perception) I was concerned but a man does not show it. Hence distance. I find it really hard to be happy go lucky right now. I am working on it and it is getting better but I will be the first to admit I not there yet.

I thought I may throw in one of my first posts. I wrote this almost right after the bomb when I was living at Mom and Dads.

Everyone always says that there was a turning point in your marriage. My turning point was when my wife found the affection of another man. I was hurt, rejected, angry, sad any emotion I had it. We talked and talked about it and went over everything at least twice. I went from wanting to run away to wanting to stay. I told my wife that I forgave her but I did not. I say that because I still held her responsible for hurting me. I felt that she should have bent over backwards, done cheers, done everything in her power to make me feel better. Had I realized then what I know now we would not be here. I was the one who needed to change. She was standing right in front of me telling me that she needed me, all I could think about was the pain I had inside. She was telling me she wanted to feel wanted and valued. All I wanted was for her to do that for me. All we had to do was show one another that we still cared. Of course neither of us did this simple thing and work for a better life. We followed the familiar path. We waited for the other person to give us what we needed. We withdrew from each other as our needs were not met. We never told each other how we felt. We walked right down the path that said Dead End and we never saw the signs. People want to feel loved, needed, appreciated. It is at our core. No mater what we do in life that thought is always there driving us. I have realized now over the past couple of weeks that when bad things happen you need to step back and say "What did I do wrong in this situation". Once you have the answer work on that flaw, once you do the flaw you see in the other person will melt away.