She is baiting you and trying to make you mad to validate what she's doing. Do not give her the satisfaction!!!! Just smile and say, "Thanks for explaining that to me." Don't worry about her making you look stupid. So what!!!! Are you stupid? Of course not. I can tell you are a brillant person. Just humor her!!! Don't fall for these traps.
And when you do something that makes her angry like explain to your son what's going on... turn it around to her and make it sound like you are doing HER a FAVOR!!! Tell her you want to make this easier for her to bring everything out of the closet. She doesn't have to hide. BE NICE!!!! You are HELPING HER!!! At least that's how you present this stuff. Because, from what you've described and how she baits you, I think the more you are against this the more she will do it to spite you.
One more thing..... if you can believe this I thought about this when I woke up this morning.... Sheesh!!! Well, at least you know some stranger you don't really know is concerned about your family....
When you have your sons and she's out doing her thing.... make sure you plan something REALLY SPECIAL!!! Go to a super fun amusement park, some kind of really neat fair or carnival. Something super special. Take lots of PHOTOS, have such a WONDERFUL TIME that when the boys get home all they can do is talk about what an amazing time they had with dad. It's time to become the "Disneyland Dad." You guys have an amazing time and she's not part of it. She needs to MISS THIS. Her time with "Mr. Smooth" (Gag me!) needs to pale in comparison...
Don't worry about "screwing up" sometimes it's extremely difficult to stop the momentum.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
