what am I doing here? seriously, what am I doing here? H just left with the kids to take them out to breakfast/to the park for bit before the party. all I can think about is what am I doing? why don't I just file for divorce myself and get it over with? He's WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. nothing is changing that. nothing. do I have so little self-respect? how is this okay at all???
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
oh morgan, I am with you on this one. Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I letting myself suffer, and being half a mom to the kids? I am so sorry. You don't have little self respect, you respect yourself enough to know that you have to try everything, exhaust every avenue, before you can let go. Whatever happens in between the start and finish isn't up to us.
I am glad you are getting a bit of a break tonight, sounds like you need it. HUGS!
I picture that we are doing what generations of women have done, stood by their men and marriages during their whims of fantasy until they come to their senses. Unfortunately, they say 60% of married men cheat and 40% of wives. I NEVER believed that statistic even though my Dad and Grandpa were cheaters and all my uncles did too. I just thought it was cultural and that sane, normal men and women do not throw away their lives for something as stupid as an affair.
On a base level, I guess what they say about mammal, primate stuff is kind of true. Yuck. I hate to think in cliches and stereotypes or even science. It makes me feel stupid and unromantic to admit that men go after fertile, younger women to breed and women go after older, richer, stronger men for goods and protection for their younglings.
Morgan, LWB, I am right there with ya. I totally feel like givin' 'em the boot, too. But how do you do that while DBing? It is impossible unless we really want a divorce. And we are here to avoid divorce. We have to just remember we can be happy with or without them. Our hapiness is not dependent on them. If they are making us so unhappy it hurts ourselves, then we need to take our ownspace. We cannot be enablers to their madness. we are not their mothers, for goodness sakes.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Well said, mk. Well said. Thanks, I needed that. I am not the one to be helping him right now, that will make it worse. I am my own person and a mother, that's what I am going to do.
I only have a minute, but had to jump on and share. H just left with the kids. he asked if I was going out tonight and I said yes (should have not even bothered answering). he asked what I was doing/with who, and I reminded him that this wasn't stuff I wanted to talk about with him. he wouldn't give up. finally said that he would get a babysitter tonight and come and tail me.
umm, hello????
what is up with him? seriously? I will never understand him. and best I stop even trying.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
OMG that is so funny! Was he joking or is he serious? If he is serious than that is scary and I should not be laughing. What are you doing tonight? Why is he soooo interested when he thinks there is competition? Does he want to be your only lover? Like you are his property. Well, I guess you kind of are his since you are married!!! Kidding. OMG, still cannot belive he said that.
My H's jealousy. He was a very jealous man when we were dating and married. He wanted me to throw away all pics of dudes from my past. No way. I am not sure if he gives a rat's a$$ now, but I know he cries when I mention the kids and I are just going to the park then a barbecue with neighbors. He gets jealous of that life.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
wait, I forgot to tell you the best part. he actually said (drum roll, please) that as the mother of his children, it was only right that I tell him what I am doing/where I am going at all times. if only for my own safety.
yes, I did fall down laughing. literally. is he kidding me???
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
No. He is serious. Wow. Is that part of his love language. Let him know how you appreciate how he cares and he is protective of you. Teach him how to love you again. Let's not read anyting negative into it if we can shift to a positive.
Negative: He is controlling and possesive, jealous and there is a double standard.
To a Positive: He cares about your safety. He would be crushed if he lost you to someone else or in a drunk driving accident? You want him to care about you and your safety. Reward the positive like a dog whisperer, lol.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
interesting, mk. so I give him a pat on the head, but I don't actually have to tell him anything, right? just tell him I appreciate his interest in my safety...(even if I really think its for the negative reasons).
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
