In August of this year when my H decided to "fly the coop" I decided to pack his crap - actually just his clothes (they are his PRIZED posessions). This helped me tremendously at the time. It just felt cathartic to pack his stuff.
Well, those boxes have been sitting at the foot of our bed since then and to say they have frustrated me is an understatement. I even have posted about the boxes....Last weekend we had an argument in which the boxes came up. I asked why he hasn't unpacked them and he said because he's afraid I'm going to kick him out. I think he should unpack them because they got packed because he left, he thinks I should unpack them because I'm the one that packed them in the first place - through these conversations the boxes have become some metaphor. He wants to know I want him here, I want to know he wants to stay and we're communicating through boxes - I know it's strange and some of you are shouting, would one of you just unpack the damn boxes.
Done. I came home from work on Thursday and unpacked 2 of the 6 boxes and said nothing to H about them. He got up on Friday morning and unpacked 2 more - and said nothing to me. Today, he unpacked all the rest. The boxes are gone and we have yet to mention them at all to each other. So strange, I know. But I think it's a victory.
Putting the bad stuff in the past is so difficult. Humbling yourself and being vulnerable is equally as difficult. But I think things are beginning to shift in our marriage and that feels good.
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
