Root, I need that 2x4 to the head. I really do. Thanks.
I am my own worst enemy right now. My conversation with S6 last night is already bearing its bitter fruit, just as I predicted. W is furious at me for telling S6 the truth about what's going on. I am not going to lie to him anymore, not for her sole benefit anyways. S6 is very perceptive, and if he asks, I am going to answer -- I can only sugar-coat it so much before it becomes a blatant lie.
W had a date with OM last night, and that's the fact. She's also planning a weekend getaway to the beach with the OM tomorrow, and that's a fact. She keeps talking to my S's behind my back about the OM's children -- to get my S's accustomed to the idea of a blended family. That too is a fact.
W's been in denial about this the whole time and she wants everyone else to remain in the fog as well.
I am continually having my intelligence insulted. I am continually being treated as the ignorant fool and patsy. I feel like the goose being fattened up for Christmas dinner.
But all my protestations are only precipitating the very thing I fear. I really have screwed up.
So I guess I am now at the point where I don't care anymore. That I must make myself not care. To detach, for real. I have been holding onto hope that W would come to her senses, but I can't rely on that, not anymore. I really do need to let go.
It's so very hard.
That's the difference between wisdom and intelligence. I have the intelligence to know what I must do, but I have not enough wisdom to actually do these things.
