Breton - I relate to your feelings at the stage you are at. A year is a long time. The thing is, we all reach the end of our tether, but as long as you are emotionally engaged in the process then you haven't actually stopped hanging on. You might be competely exhausted, and fed up, and want out - that is something else. This is the point at which some people start a new r, to ease the pain, and 'get over' their marriage [not the only reason, and I am certainly not getting at anyone here btw]
It is when we fully detach and let go, when we recognise the full extent of the MLC damage, when we view them with detached compassion, that we can cope better. It is hard to force coming to this point, and it takes a lot of time, and grieving. You will know when you get there, because it is at that point that your WAS has no 'power' over you. They may continue to freak you out by their weird behavior, but essentially you observe them, rather than being jerked around by their drama.
FWIW I have come to think that it is not so much about 'standing' as enduring. A
