I am a long time lurker here and some time responder. I have replied to your thread before. I have been married 29 years to a guy who over the years has lost his sex drive due to ED, aging as well as I know for a fact that he does MB in preference to ML to a willing partner. I said to him in a very caring manner probably at least five years ago, look it is really important to me to have a sexual relationship with my partner and if it hasn't happened in at least a week then you need to start thinking about it. See with the ED/LD guy you need to leave the initiation schedule in their ball park, cause you don't know if they have taken the meds they need in order to get things going.
So that would be my recommendation to you Karen bring up your concern, he does seem like a very caring guy, and then leave it up to him to do the initiating, I think he has survived too long on the please himself (MB) mode and simply does not get it and what he needs to do to do well in a long term relationship.
Let him know that after one or two weeks with no action that he needs to start thinking about it and initiate something. When you do nothing as you have done he is thinking all is well and he doesn't have to do anything.
Oh and for you Hairdog:
I always think of my wife as a sex object - I ask for sex and she objects.
