PS: side comment, that is probably going to be depressing, but I hope will give you a goal to shoot for:
Given what she said about wanting security and support... perhaps your #1 priority should be in getting a stable job.
No more "start ups". Maybe even take a "pay cut", in favor of job security.
The added security from that, might make her more favourably inclined towards you, perhaps. Whereas I cant imagine she would want to make any kind of commitment to you, while you are out of a job
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle