Oh - he loves the strongly sexually agressive women in media. He also loved Annette Benning in the American President when he's prattling on about things and she just goes in his closet and comes out with one of his button down shirts on and nothing else and kisses him. He likes Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman - he describes it as a story about her becoming a "woman" and the Richard Gere character becoming a "man". He's all about that in movies and so on and he liked that about me when we dated until.........
he was just back from a trip, stressed and all and could see that I was interested so he suggested we go to his room and well, there were erection issues and he was p*ssed at me. It seems like he had felt cornered into initiating and angry at me for clearly wanting sex when he didn't (emotionally or physically, the more we tried the more it wasn't happening and we just had to stop, get dressed and move on. Well, I guess this was the first sign that demonstrated I wasn't going to be the psychic sexual healer that being a Scorpio predicted for him, that his issues were still gonna be there. This was our "first fight" and it never was a fight, I knew he was angry, he denied it, said he was "tired" and that was that. I felt weird about initiating after that instance and the vibe that I was hypersexual and too needy was born into the R right there.
Since that time he has had erection issues on a few but not many occasions (mostly this happened in the beginning of the R and I just thought he was a little nervous), I have initiated successfully sometimes and not sometimes (sometimes he deflects or only halfway participates, he rarely out and out says no), we have had agressive sex but rarely. I don't know if it was a defining moment for him but it was for me. He only ever said "fcuk me" during sex before we married and only once or twice, never since. So........there is this disconnect from the media images that appeal to him and the real life acts that he will participate in.
Such a mystery. This is when it seems like a major copout to just say, "Ok, must be gay."
