You have commented! Thanks. I actually just found your post and replied. I think you're right about communicating that he needs to slow down and that he needs to share with me what he wants. I think the biggest obstacle here is that he has those addictive personality traits (shame mostly) and might be a little afraid of saying what it is that turns him on out of embarrasment or fear of being judged. Anytime he has come to me I postively reinforce these requests and only rarely express my reluctance, but am sure to let him down gently. So the problem is that he has to find more ways to be honest with himself and me and bite the bullet and approach...a real live woman! I just don't know how to get him to do that.
On a side note...you said something about not knowing if he's cheated, my fiance hasn't either. At least to my knowledge, but does the fear increase for you when he's into porn more? It does me and makes all those insecurities and checking behaviors return. My most recent checking found out that he's been communicating with his exwife...I posted my plea for support elsewhere.
As for the book...what's the title? I am interested...
