Yeah - I don't believe in horoscopes either but my daughters are both Tauruses - sposed to be stubborn as h*ll which they are but I think that is because they are mine. LOL!
Thanks for the correction Lil - yes, I was talking about Uhuru. I have seen some of the original series but have probably seen much more of the Next Generation. Just for fun I often engage H in a Kirk vs Picard debate. He says Picard is a p*ssy because he's French.
Dom,
I do recognize that the way H chooses to deal with the kids (putting them before every conceivable thing) affects both of us. However, I am big on personal responsibility. I did exactly the kind of taking over that you describe in my 1st M.
My xH was like raising another child and I swore I would never do that again. And I haven't. Current H is very adult, very responsible, very task oriented, listmaking and all of that. He can cook, clean, do the laundry, do childcare. He does all of that and so do I. We share duties in everything EXCEPT maintaining our relationship. By not picking up his end of the rope and maintaining a healthy distance from him I had hoped that he would take notice and take personal action. The type of action he might choose may be different than what I would do (the same way that we take care of the kids differently) but that would be ok. So far I have occasional words (murmurings really) that he is noticing we have no time together. The "There's your Mom and Dad time for the night" was said in fatalistic tone - like he was kinda disappointed. However, nights when everyone went to sleep early and we are alone on the couch watching tv have no different physical or emotional contact or tone than any other night so it "rolled off".
My H is a great guy. He's attractive, smart, funny. I would really like it if he wanted to be my lover. However, I have ceased to be defined by that. I have ceased to be willing to sell myself out to make it happen. I will not have an affair. I will not serve H with divorce papers. I will not go on indefinately without confronting him to see what his intentions are. I will be ok, regardless.
