If in fact W has changed her name, she didn't do it in response to your email. It takes a lot of work. It is a pain in the butt. She probably told you in response for your email because she was tired of keeping it from you and your email made it OK for her to let you know. Other than that, her name chance probably WAS NOT ABOUT YOU.
AFAIK, women decide to change their names when they really let go of the M, whether that is pre- or post- divorce.
So, if she changed her name, all signs point to her being completely and totally done.
If instead she is merely threatening a name change, then yeah, she is trying to manipulate you.
But, really, for F's sake, quit making her every breath about you already.
