A real man buys the pizza, shares with his family, plays with his kids, and does the dishes afterward.
A boy goes off to play pool with his friends rather than face the situation at home (and yes, it is okay to play with your friends but for the right reasons).
Bravo.
Quote:
being inundated with how weak it is to keep house as a man.
I do housework my friend. Real men do housework! Never think otherwise. I cook too, how cool is that!
About the dream: The hard part will be the OM. That is tough. But remember your tools are assertiveness and courage. If you even bring up the OM it will be viewed as an attack by her. It may drive her into his arms. But if you let it build inside you, that is not good either b/c that leads to depression or "poor me" attitudes.
You will instead focus on the M and the R. OM is of no consequence. Who is the real man here lester? You who is fighting for your family or some low life scum who is trying to destroy it? That trash is not worth your sweat.
Your job now is to reinvent your M, not focus on Mr. Scum.
Let me speculate a little. You all married very young, and now have two young kids. Kids are wonderful but there is pressure. You mentioned Iraq so I guess military, and then the job pressure and being apart. Yes, she is burned out. She most likely feels that she has held the whole R together all this time all by herself. My former W felt the same way. They give up. They lose that attraction for us. They look around and say "what have I been missing? My friends are young and attractive too and they are having a great time!"
Then Mr. Wonderful (aka Mr Scum) comes along. W feels like one of her other young single friends: party time rather than diaper time. And I bet Mr. Wonderful has all the lines to stroke her non-existant ego and low self-esteem. You and I both know he is scum and is *interested* just to get into her pants. She only sees the attention that she has been missing with you (her thinking). Life would be so wonderful she thinks.
So be careful. Show her how wonderful YOU are rather than trying to explain how Mr Wonderful is really Mr. Scum. Attacking Mr. Scum will backfire. THAT she has to figure out on her own. She will figure it out b/c that low-life will dump her one day. That day she will crash - look around - and see her port in the storm and her rock. You.
frank_D's story applies here - how he went through a PA that his W was flaunting in his face. (Disclaimer: I don't think there is the OM in my stitch, but you never know).
Again, great post. I will lay off you awhile. I smell a success story here.
