This also posted under "Newcomers"

[lester]

Sandline,

Our communicatiion skills were terrible and that set off a string of affairs early in our marriage. I was the guilty party. I saw how bad I hurt her and will never let that happen in any relationship I am involved in.

I can’t stress this enough to everyone that an affair is NOT your fault. Do you have faults sure? Let me give you an example say I’m overweight would it give you the right to laugh at me and call me a whale, cow or whatever derogatory term? No, clearly a person who hurts another is responsible for THEIR actions. YOU, YOU are responsible only for YOUR actions – how you interact with your wife and others is up to you. So time to get with it.

Many people get caught in the “marriage trap”. What I mean by that is they watch movies, TV, books and get the impression life is like a romance novel. It’s not! That’s why emotionally immature people get involved in affairs because they fall into this trap. Sounds to me like your wife didn’t take a realistic view on life. Believe you me this is WAY TOO COMMON. It sounds to me like you’re on your way up just keep swinging for the fences bud. Try hard as you can to separate yourself from HER affair and focus on YOUR life. No one is attracted to someone who’s own life is in shambles. Get ready cause the road may be tough and less traveled but I know you have it in ya. Ya with me?