You have some points in there. My H is timid sexually but he did initiate frequently during our courtship and still does during vacations. It is an odd style of initiation but it still is initiation.
About the kids. He chooses the level of interference from the kids. Before we even met he chose to be a foster parent of 3 and 4 kids at a time such that he had already fostered a bunch before we ever met. We continued fostering up until a year or two ago when they grew up and moved out on their own. He wanted to add "our two" to "my two" making the four we have now. He would love for me to have yet another if God wills it so. So, if he has issues with the kids blocking intimacy - it is HIS issue. If you have kids then you know - you must be creative and flexible to work your own and your marital needs around life with children BUT children will not be in the picture forever so you better figure out how to have a life together for that day when the last kid rolls out of the driveway and you are left staring at one another. KWIM??? I get this. Not sure he does.
Lil,
You may be on to something there. I really never had the Spock type fantasy but my H did. The reason I know is that he once referenced some horoscope book that described my sign (Scorpio) as being so hypersexual as to be a sort of "sexual healer" of others. Also, he once referenced one of those Spock episodes after we had sex claiming that he is like Spock sexually - doesn't need it often but when he needs it, he needs it. Or something along those lines.
Scott,
Delighted you dropped in because besides Spock my H is fond of the few episodes referencing Klingon sex and mating rituals (New Generation) and seems to like the rough sexual types of the Klingon women. I have no issue with this and am probably comparable to these types occasionally (just not all the time).
Note to self: Buy Star Trek Halloween Costume (preferably the Old School O'Hura type)and suprise H.
