Lets try thing again!!!!

[limbo]

So I am venturing backing to this board, because I do now truly feel like we are piecing!!
We attending the Retrouvaille weekend a couple of weeks ago and since then has made a huge difference for us.
We are talking like never before, and truly being open and honest with each other.
So I am now truly filled with hope that we are going to make it, and make a stronger marriage then ever before.

Don't get me wrong, I do expect a few bumps along the way, but I think we are now going to be better able to deal with them as a couple!! or at least I am keeping my fingers crossed that we are.

My h said something to me this morning that really touched me, and I never thought I would hear....he missed me, now keep in mind I saw him a couple of hours ago, and neither of us have gone anywhere! He just missed me!!!

[runningoutoftime]

Congratulations Limbo!

Just think little steps and work on developing a deep friendship.

I contacted Retrouvaille about a month ago but I didn't hear from them. I think there's a weekend in my area in Oct. ... When my husband and I were separated and in divorce I looked into a marriage workshop in Branson MI (Gary Smalley, "DNA of Relationships"). But, I felt it was too late in my marriage. However, it did look like an amazing program, and I figured if anything could bring my marriage back something like that would be needed. I don't think they do the intensive workshops anymore.

[DaveJ]

running, I believe they still do. I just checked out their website couple days ago. They do 4 days intensive and 2 days intensive every week it seems.

[limbo]

It is a wonderful thing, and it has most certainly helped us, it has given us a means in which to get things out, and get it out in a non threatening way, which I think for my H makes him more at ease doing it, and he feels safe in doing it.
I am eternally grateful that we could go, and would recommend it to anyone who can get there spouses there!

Running, try and contact them again...don't let it put you off if they haven't contacted you, keep after them, the people who do this generally seem to be very on top of things! So please don't give up trying to attend!

[runningoutoftime]

Dave,

I'm glad to hear they are still doing their workshops. They sound amazing. I know the book was great. I did a small group study of it with a group from church. It was super enlightening. Especially since I joined that group as my marriage was unraveling!

Limbo,

I'll try contacting them again. I know my husband would go. He's actually "into" marriage stuff. Kind of weird!

[DaveJ]

running,
I'm reading the book right now. I really want the W to go to something but she's not interested. So wish I did something a year ago when she was asking for MC. That darn John Gottman! Just for that he should give us free therapy sessions! According to the book the have something like 96% success rate. Right now I'd do anything and spending anything to save this marriage. Just wish the W would be open....

[runningoutoftime]

I understand what you are saying... the way I originally brough it up to my husband was I asked him if he wanted to go to Branson MI with me (not explaining why). He assumed it was for fun and said something about it being a fun place (Ugh!) and why not. But, I then retreated knowing he was in a funny place at the time, very set on divorce and being 16 again. Anyhow, I retreated and didn't bring it up again. They do ask that BOTH partners be interested in attending. I didn't believe I could get that from my husband at that time. What makes you think your wife wouldn't be open to the idea? Perhaps you could pursude her that that it's not just for marriage, but even if you D, this would help you be better friends and co-parents. I used that stategy a lot with my husband during the D. It's a lot less threatening. I called it D therapy!

[DaveJ]

She says she's not ready and isn't interested. I'll have to wait till she's made quite a bit of progress on herself before bringing it up again. She feels right now she doesn't have enough self confidence to face our problems. So I have to wait....

[runningoutoftime]

Well, sometimes people need time and experiences to get where they need to mentally go. I commend you on your patience and obviously being a great dad.

[ediemarie]

Hey Limbo! Just popping in to see how your weekend follow up went. I just found your thread here in Piecing. Nice move! I hope you guys are doing well! Have a great week.
Em