No but if someone is not willing to communicate with you then how do you communicate with them? If you are pissed off with their pissed off attitude whose feelings are they? *I* am quite happy in myself. If H were not around at all then I am totally fine. The second he steps through the door the atmosphere chills by 10 degrees. Are those my feelings or his? If I am fused then I would say "you're making me feel terrible". If I don't want to be fused then I try to detatch from the atmosphere he is generating. Or am I getting it all wrong?
I've been talking to GP about the whole "man cave" thing. He totally recognizes the tendency in himself. The way he views the issue is that he thinks it is equivalent to "cheating" on a woman in a relationship. I think what he would recommend that you do would be to try to open up the lines of communication with your H by saying something like "I sense that you are feeling a lot of resentment towards me and perhaps a sense of overall disappointment in our relationship. Maybe you feel like you shouldn't or can't talk to me about the problem because of the manner in which I have reacted in the past. However, if we don't address the white elephant sitting on the giant concrete wall in our relationship currently things will never improve so why don't you try to trust me a little bit and speak your mind/heart."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
