I'm speaking from the position of someone that has been divorced (the first time) for maybe 10 years now (see I don't even remember the year). In reading your posts I don't really think the rope has dropped. I interact with my ex on a regular basis and it never enters my mind whether she's trying to bait me or what her actions mean (so I also disagree that there is always a place in your heart for the XW...there isn't in mine). That says to me that your still in the process of trying to determine if her actions have something to do with you. Actually, it seems stronger than that...you assume it has something to do with you. That says to me that you are still attached. I wonder in addition to what oldtimer said if you can't really fully commit to your gf because part of you still wonders about a future with ex and anything too deep with her would ruin your chances with the ex. Think that's true? It's been 4 year since you first came to this site. Don't you think she would have made some attempt at reconciliation by now if she was going to?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
