The idea of anger coming from my W not "seeing" me resonates very strongly with me. And the anger has been really strong over the last couple of weeks, to the point that I feel paralyzed by it. I am having a hard time "dropping it" or pulling back from it to analyze it. It really is affecting our R in a very negative way, because I have stopped doing positive interaction type things because my anger gets me into a major funk whenever I start. For example I often have the thought, "who does she think she is ignoring me and treating me like dirt, avoiding affection and even listening to what I have to say about even mundane topics? why should I even try to be nice to her when she is being so dismissive of me?" Not saying that position is defensible or logical, but that is the sort of thing that has kept me withdrawn for a while now.
I'd email her the above.
What I see you've got going with her is the whole Barter and Trade mindset, and I know you see it, too. (I do x, y, and z to express my love for you? What do you do?)
While it is an understandable question, you also are understand it is a cheeseless tunnel. What you stated above... is honest information about how you are feeling, that as your partner, she needs to know.
I don't hear in that statement above anything you think, feel or expect from her because you are feeling the way you are. It is simply honest. <-- That, I believe, is the way around the B&T discussions. FWIW.
