Forrest Gump and his box of choclates.

[Forrest Gump]

Funny that.....you even say you know what your W's LL is (I have NFC what my W's is....seems to be a bit of everything)....but much like you don't want to pay attention to any posts here, you don't want to pay any attention to your W's LL either.

I have not payed attention to alot of things. I know what my wife wanted and really still wants. As with most WAS she does not know if she wants it right now or ever again. She has backed off from the OM or at least she is telling me she has. While my wife is very attractive she has placed her "value" in what other people say and do. Me being a physical guy I did not say or do much that tied to her love languages. She thought I should "know her" I thought she should "know me". My wife feels that she needs to find herself to truly be happy. So as we speak, we are selling our house and going our seperate ways. This is the last thing I want. I want us to work it out and she is aware of that. I have told her that she can take the sign down anytime she wants but she has to be willing to work on us. She knows where I stand. I know where she stands.

You have to decide what it is you want? I wish I had the opportunity to turn things around as easily as you probably could. I would be the first one to make the changes, especially if I knew what my W's LL was.

F*ck me! I bet you are great to have a few beers with (actually I'm not sure about that, you might just want to keep talking about yourself), but somebody near you needs to give you an effing good kick up the arse (ass). Either that or pull your head out of it.

You said I could just say it......hopefully now you'll get some posts that will help you.

I posted this way to show people here where my thoughts come from. I rarely talk about myself and have had alot of time to reflect on myself. Both in a sober state and in a not so sober state. I don't think I have anything up my ass but I will check again just to be sure. I know what to do but sometimes I fall off the wagon. I know what I want. I want my marrige to work. I never have not wanted it to work. I have thought I wanted to end it. In my emotion colored decision making times but something always kept me coming back. I just did not know what to do to change it. Cheeseless Tunnels. My wife has to decide if that is what she wants.

I have made changes my wife sees them, my family sees them, people at work see them. My wife does not trust them. Fair enough. I have a hard time trusting them at times. So I can't really expect her to jump right back in even though that is what I want her to do. It has been going well for me and we have made lots of baby steps. We have fallen back. We both read way to much into each others actions and thoughts. I have lived in the same marriage my wife has. I have had my needs not met just as much as she has not had hers met. She wants to leave I want to work on it. So to point out a good thing if she really wanted to leave she would have already. I felt I needed to post my stitch so people can see where I am coming from. As people comment and ask questions I can answer them and "fill in the blanks". Hopefully in reading this other people can gain some insight.