All hope is lost/help

[Evie]

Hi,

Well today i'm afraid to say I feel a bit heavy of heart b/c of last night.

I was meant to be going out with my friend who let me down. I assumed (wrongly that H would stay in with me) but he didn't he put on his shoes and said he was off out and he went, he didn't say where he was going he just said 'see you later, bye'. I wished him a good evening. Both D's were at work and phoned to see if I could collect them at 10.15pm. They told me that H had said he was off to the gym and then the cinema so they had to walk home and he would have known that (it's not far and safe)

I'm upset b/c 1) he didn't tell me where he was going and 2) I felt I couldn't ask and 3)it makes me feel even more like we are co-habitors.

I have read my book on the 5 LL. I was surprised to learn that mine was 'words of affirmation' I thought it was 'quality time', then hugging and affection.... The thing is I have no idea what H's LL is!!! How bad is that??? I THINK it may be 'acts of love' or 'gifts'. His way of an apology was always to clean or cook and he has always been the spender, mainly at B'days/Xmas etc but always impulsive. I'm the one who is careful with money.

I get the impression he is feeling much more himself, i know he's watching his weight and has started to excercise more, but I just feel that last night was a 2 finger at me. I have to say i'm gutted. I will try and have a PMA today, I know we have time together for a family lunch out tomorrow to look forward to, but it seems everything i'm doing is not having an effect all.

Are your C quite young Cat? At least you must feel a small sense of security knowing that you H is there b/c he wants to work on your M, albeit at his own slow pace. He seems as if he needs time and space and you know that and are complying, you have thepatience of a saint. I'm glad you have a faith and a life line, I'm not religous but I don't judge folks who are, my best friend is V religeous and her H a bishop. I don't know about you but I can't really talk to family and friends too much, they don't understand and say everything is unfair on me (I know that, but don't need to here it from them). Does 'T' stand for a trainer of some sort?

I'm sorry this is a panicking self pity party this morning.

Look forward to your optimisism
(((XD)))