I avoid saying how I truly feel because I'm afraid of her reaction
Right now, I am just feeling incapable of making myself heard, because of worry that not only will I say things in a way that can be misinterpreted, but that she will misinterpret in ways that set us back rather than move us forward.
Maybe you are a hundred percent right to be afraid of what she will say/how she will react. Especially based on history. Problem is .... you can't KNOW that for sure. And as long as your fear of her reaction is holding you back from confrontation and/or total honesty ..... you're making the decision for both of you. You're depriving her of the chance to respond positively to you. Now, whether she does or not you can't control, but then at least that's HER choice, not you assuming the responsibility for both of you, taking the choice away from her by avoiding the tough conversations.
That's not to say that you shouldn't give some canny thought to your timing and methods. Let me be another voice in favor of email .... it has *totally* worked for us, especially when the clashing libidos thing was at its most contentious and there was NO WAY we could have a rational conversation about it.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
