I respect and completely understand your view. My take is I guess, that I believe in God very much that He has a plan for us, and although we might not see it right now, it will turn out for the better for us in the end. Our problem is that God also doesn't mess will free will, so our Ws can do whatever sometimes and leave us shaking our heads as to why this is happening.

My take at first to feel like I was being punished for neglecting my duties as a husband. I admit, my W tried to reason with me on things, but now I realize I could have done much more after I had time to dissect what went wrong. Not that Im placing all the blame on me. Did I deserve for my W to have an A to understand how bad it was? Absolutely not. Even she will say that. But I also feel that maybe God was trying to tell me some things in hindsight maybe, that I won't know until later on..

1. My W and I are not compatible at anything more than friends.

2. I needed to realize that I had issues to work out before I could be a good H to any women.

3. That in time, I will find that right woman and with my self-changes, will have that loving M I should have had the first time around.

Maybe it sounds crazy. I don't know. But I do know I need to take it a moment and minute at a time. Who knows....my W could come back to me somewhere down the road, and I could be still single and we could get together again and work out the issues that destroyed our M. But I can't sit around and watch paint dry waiting for that to happen as much as I want to.

I guess my point is, I feel God said.."Look, you made your mistakes, this is what happened. Now, take a good look at yourself and find ways to resolve your issues before you try again with someone else so you don't make the same mistakes again."

Keep your head up, JMC. I know its easier said than done. I have for the most part, accepted my impending D. But I still have that lonesome wish and prayer that W will reconsider and that why she can't see that what she is doing is going to do more harm than good. And letting her know that still gives me the cold shoulder because she still has resentment. She still can let go of the past with us.....still won't realize I am not the same man she saw a year ago.

Sorry, got a little long, got on a rambling kick again. Good luck, JMC. Im praying for ya, no matter which way your sitch goes.