Creating happiness

[25yearsmlc]

Nic,

ouch...so sorry to hear the news, but as I read more of the posts and your answers, I see that all is not horrible. You are more free now, and that will grow with time.

Thank GOD the gf isn't a nightmare. But as she sees the type of woman and mom you are, (especially when you don't say ANY negatives to h...) she will definitely wonder wth he was like with you.

Maybe the real fear is that you got the "practice h" and she is getting the new improved version of him, that you always wanted. That sucks as a feeling, but I am not sure how realistic it is to believe they've changed so much, permanently. Even if he has, HE would know. He'll know he is giving her more than he gave the mother of his own children. If they have children, he'll know his first time around was lousy as a dad. He'll possibly try to re-connect with the kids, and that's better than him not doing so. But he knows what he's done. New gf won't accept cheating from him, but he'll know he did it to you...

And btw, my sister's ex left her after 22 years and 3 kids, to "find himself" and had ow the next day...(Umm, yeah, I know....). Never expressed regret but once told my sister he was sorry for hurting her.

THEN when SHE was getting re-married, her EX called her to tell her he "fu----" up and is sorry and "gets it now" etc......And she told me that even though she feels sorrow about what she and the kids went through, she'd never go back to EX now, b/c her new h is really into the M, and makes it first in his life. She said "once you've been the priority you don't want to go back to being number 2, or 3, or 4."

NIC, I'm sending you faith in love. You will be loved again, by a good guy. There are a lot of them around, as you can see by this bb. It has really comforted me to find them here. FIB, frankd, Was2Sad, and so many many other good men exist. You'll find one there, in time. When you are ready.

j-