It's not about dropping the statements, it's about understanding that you can't be certain of something you know so little about and possibly understanding how amusing it is to be certain of something you're absolutely wrong about.
There are plenty of things I know little about. You won’t see me posting on those topics. For things I do know about, I speak up. But to learn more I am willing to reach, to push the boundaries a little and think outside the box. Doing so is inherently risky.
I also think it might be a fruitful avenue of self-discovery for you to delve into how you can so positive that you're right when you are, in point of fact, wrong.
Like I said, I know that I step into risky territory at times. I have no problem with that. I have a bigger problem with being too conservative and waiting for confirmation of something. Sometimes confirmation is ok, but other times I see little reason for it.
I suspect you might discover how little one person actually knows about another...especially when they've never even met.
And you might discover how much you can know of another person by understanding patterns.
I would guess that getting your arms around this truth would be helpful to your life in general.
I doubt it. I prefer not to set my limitations on the assumption of how little I know but rather to push forward on how much I may know. We are not talking about hard, tangible items here, like money. We are only talking about ideas and mindsets.
You may also find that not being positive about things you can't know with positivity puts you in a more efficient mindset and makes you more productive.
Assumption on your part. I think I ALWAYS think in a positive, forward, non-fatalistic mode. Perhaps my assumptions, tone and style have deceived you of that part of me?
You spend a lot of energy urging others down paths of self-discovery so it seems like you'd be open to it yourself.
I’ve addressed this.
Red herring. Do you see what an utter deflection that is? When did I ever say or imply anything about wanting solid guaranteed advice?
No because it sounded to me like you did want solid, well grounded, certain advice.
A) All the effort you put forth defending and explaining yourself is at odds with the notion that you neither know nor care how others perceive you.
B) That statement is again, a dodge/deflection, but you did go on to address the actual point:
I like validation, just like everyone else. I like to see through a tough, confusing situation, especially to unravel issues that are tangled together. I find it very challenging. I like knowing that I can see what I can see, and then seeing it.
And if those who are way off the mark positively insist that they're right, how would you take that?
Three ways - either I misunderstood something about my underlying “corollaries,” I misunderstood the facts or the situation, or the person is in denial and cannot yet see.
Fearless has clearly made it her responsibility to know that difference rather than make it yours to guess, yet you keep right on guessing and you guarantee that you know more about her than she does herself.
She might know everything I posted about her. If so I haven’t heard it yet. If not, then I may have help to unravel something.
I'm not sure that anything so far has ticked me off, but whatever we choose to call it, it has everything to do with your authoritative tone on topics you're clearly not an authority on. That's what I've stated. I thought I stated it clearly. You're trying to twist that into something it's not. I suspect a strawman is right around the corner...
My authoritative tone is my business. How you decide to react to it is yours.
...and there it is. The answer is: because I choose to. What's that got to do with anything?
And if I chose to state that I know everything about the universe, or speak in an authoritative tone, then it is also because I choose to.
Are you sure that what I feel is a need? Could it perhaps be a want or a desire or a proclivity? I believe I choose to mostly because introspective people tend take it very seriously when someone makes forceful assertions about them or their situation. Support from someone who knows you is nice in the face of an unrelenting push from someone who doesn't know you.
Need, desire, want, proclivity, whatever…. all just variations of degree. I don’t know what you are saying here… you choose to seek out introspective people to make them feel better with your support when you think they are being pressured? Does this mean you look for the “underdog” so you can be the knight in shining armor?
I can't grok that sentence. Perhaps this is where you and I just diverge. You imply that my intentions are only honorable if there's something I stand to gain. That's not the way I understand the concept of honor.
What I meant is that I wonder if you look to gain something, which would make your intentions less that honorable.
Either you're managing to have quite a debate with someone who doesn't take a position or that's another strawman.
Oh, you take a position alright…. But only by following, not leading.
Be careful what you wish for.
Say it.
It seems to me you make a living pointing out the contradictions in what posters here say.
That would be nice, but I doubt many would pay money.
Wasn't your guarantee that "there's something there" with Fearless based on what you perceive as contradictions in what she's said?
I still stand by my statement that there are hidden issues needing to be brought out. How relevant they may be in the future is unknown.
It's the same thing; why discourage me from doing what you so often do? Is it more about who's the target of the action rather than the action itself?
What you and others are really upset about is that I dissect other people’s sitches but because I don’t post all my emotions and feelings on this board, there is not sufficient ammo available for you or others to “get even” with me. That is really the gist of the matter isn’t it? People feel attacked so they want a little revenge and I don’t give them the chance. It seems unfair, one sided and like a power play, right?
But rather than say that, everyone instead says Cobra is hurtful or insensitive, avoids self confrontation, deflects, whatever. Well I never mean to be hurtful or insensitive and at times try to say so in my posts. After some of the things recently said on this board, I think my comments are pretty tame. Yet I still draw fire.
It’s not about authoritative style, or confrontational comments. There is plenty of authority and confrontation to go around. Its about posters feeling that they have not been able to see inside me, that I have not made myself vulnerable enough, that there is no feeling of connection with me and therefore trust.
Corri also asked why I could not remove my blinders to she-who-shall-not-be-named.
Why you would ever think someone you don't know... interacting on an anonymous BB... and has specifically hunted down and selected YOU, above anyone else... would WANT and actively work toward your M failing, and on top of that, derive PLEASURE from such activity... is no where in my realm of understanding... not even remotely.
Because that is how it feels to me. It is for the same reason as what I just stated. Others may not feel trust in me. Well I have no trust in she-who-shall-not-be-named. This might be as much my issue as it is hers, but my experience on this board is that she prefers to hold back on her posts until something riles her enough that she jumps out with an attack. Then afterwards she makes a series of posts, being nice to members of the board to shore up support on “her side” while at the same time strutting around about how “tough” she is (some of this is in jest, but not all). After a little while she goes back into hiding until the need for another police action rises.
I could fight her and have done so in the past. It’s a waste of my time. She shows lots of anger and aggression. I find it very difficult to relate to any woman like that and still think she has anyone’s best interests at heart. Furthermore, if I see no good intentions, then I will at some point begin to suspect bad intentions. That is me. Call me paranoid if you like. As it is I’m just inviting another flame war.
The irony is that my decision to not trust she-who-shall-not-be-named is no different from other people’s decision to not trust me. So I don’t see why it should be outside your realm of understanding.
I stated earlier that I have little to no motivation to improve anything more about myself as it concerns my W or my M. Both are in a sustainable mode right now and I feel I have made major changes already. If things turn bad again, there might be enough pain for me to reevaluate. But for now I choose not to.
