I think (and could be wrong)that if I stay off R talks (which DB suggests) and focus on keeping everything together and myself (working out, GALing, building confidence) and nothing builds confidence like success, right? I need to detach because I have become dependent on her smile for my happiness (stupid, yes) but I've been detaching and trying to do it the right way by being calm and non-reactive only pro-active.
YES! You are starting to GET it.
Success does not build confidence for the man. COURAGE does. Courage means trying. Courage means doing the right thing, each and every time, regardless of the outcome. Courage means you will FAIL most of the time.
But true courage means knowing you will come out okay regardless. Courage means believing in YOU.
If you don't fail, you never will learn. If you don't learn, you will not grow as a man.
Quote:
Maybe I can't undo superwuss overnight so I'll have to pretend until becomes who I am. What I mean by pretend is even if I'm not feeling confident to act with conviction of purpose as if I were and the feeling should follow (correct me if I'm wrong)
No you are not wrong. Courage means doing things when you are not confident. If you do courage, you will not need to pretend. Invest 10 units of courage and you get 10 units of confidence. That is a truth.
Invest 10 units in a "poor me" attitude and you get 10 units of loss which means more anxiety, then more "poor me", then more loss. A never ending cycle.
This cycle is called suffering. And you do it to yourself - she has no part in it.
But courage = confidence. The more courage, the more confidence. The more confidence, the less fear you will have and the less courage you will need in the future.
