Grace said it all...they are in an emotional/mental funk that they need to escape, and it is much easier to escape into a new R that may demand a lot of emotional energy, but little in the way of real committed effort, and NO effort at resolving conflict.
My XH is very much like your W; and also like Grace's H as far as convincing himself that he tried everything. Everything, that is, except for communication and change! I'm sorry you are in this, it isn't fun and it takes awhile to work through. Good luck.
