My life don't fit the book, please help.

[lester]

jeff223,

I definately agree that the LRT is come off as me giving up or being weak. I know. It's just I haven't been in this sitch and doubt many others have either so when I found the book and started reading I was like Ok this makes sense. Did I apply the techniques wrong? I guess, it seems so. Was my goal to be super WUSS? Umm, yeah, no! I was doing LRT because it said, when they won't give up their toys read page 124, LRT. Should I have done LRT or tough love or followed some other advice? Yeah, okay maybe I should have.

I don't disagree I need to shift gears. What I am saying is I am a lost soul trying to get my schtuff together. I actually thought at least the first part of the conversation came off as strong. At least from me... my wife knows I'm even keeled so when I say stuff like that she knew it wasn't my usual. Still frank's words probably would have been better. And I always examine the conversation afterwards. Which is why I'm pretty depressed today. I don't know why the words came the way they did cuz I was feeling more confident than it sounds in print.

Please don't mis take me I do really get that I should be strong in my tone and words. She's more stubborn than a mule though God, I love that about her. I'm trying to feng shui here rearrange my emotional and life long patterns. I know you see me as a wuss but I guess sometimes my words don't catch up with my thoughts and feelings so it comes out that way. I was feeling/thinking "I can't do this I need change - now" and it didn't come out like that. My IC gave me the opening few lines you read... I get his point which is basically the same as y'alls but it was not have been agressive/assertive enough.

I guess a problem I face is she could see me as too assertive because if I say it exactly as proposed then it would be out of character. I don't know maybe I'm rambling again...