My life don't fit the book, please help.

[lester]

Like I said, in my rambling I get that you're trying help. I appreciate it. I agree with the last part being too passive. I lost composure when the second part of the convo came up but I wanted to be honest about what was said. And no I don't want you to sugar coat it. I really do like that you gave examples of how I should have said things. Actually, I beat myself up worse than any of you.

I guess I'm trying to find the middle road. When I'm calm I suppose it comes off as passive. Maybe I should yell. I'm not being sarcastic but that does get my agressive juices going. Do you think it's wise? I've got books and articles up the wazoo and trying to decipher it against my situation... it's a lot to process.

So, it sounds like you don't want me to do an ultimatum but to be even more absolute about no OM.