I would not even mention retrouvaille unless she has directly said that she is interested in seeing what you can work out. I've learned the hard way over the past month, once they tell you that they are done, anything you do to indicate that you want them to change their mind will only backfire. You cannot change their mind. You know you can do things for you that will influence their decision, but you can't do anything for them to change their mind.
Think back to before you met. What kind of guy were you when you fell in love? Did you push her to be with you? When things started out and you were dating, did you talk about your undying love, what a great marriage you could have? No, you were strong independent individual who simply chose to spend time with her and share parts of your life with her. You've got to be that guy again. Trust me, if you get back to being a guy who can stand on his own, who is independent and capable and has a fun life, she'll notice. You can't guarantee it will bring her back, but if it doesn't I can guarantee it will put you in a much better position to deal with it.
I know it feels weird to back off when you want to save the marriage and you don't want her thinking you've given up. But I've made more progress with my W by doing that very thing than I have by trying to fix things. At the same time, while you do that it is critical that you don't withdraw and you don't avoid her. You need to show her that you are an independent person, but that you still enjoy her company. You need to show that you want her, but do not need her, and that you are prepared to move on with your life. Needing someone means you try to control them. Wanting someone means that you control you and trust them to make their own decisions.
