Plank removed from my eye, too late for WAW? 6

[Heimlich]

Honestly, OT, my gut says she's telling me the truth about not having a PA with OM -- at least as of yet. Evidence points to the opposite, and I do think it's trending that way, but I don't think it's gone there yet.

See, the thing that bothers/frightens me about this is that to her it won't be an A if she starts up with him again. I'm out of the house. We have a separation agreement in place. We aren't married in anything but a legal sense. For her, it's a clean slate. Since she was talking to him for who knows how many months, sure, it was a de facto EA, but I don't think it was in her mind because, as she likes to say, SHE IS DONE with our R.

My gut says two, contradictory things: 1. I need to make one last effort to go to a retrovaille weekend or some such to see if we can create even a small spark because if she starts up again, I don't know if I'll have the patience for it to run it's course. 2. Doing that will push her directly into OM's arms.

I just don't know.

Also, looking back at a few posts, I can see where I give the impression that i think everything would be hunky dory if we tried together. I really don't. I also know that there were some real problems in our M. I just never focused on them here, because I found that early on, if I focused on the negative, it sapped my energy for doing the positive, DBing things that would attract her back.

So, back to square one: GAL, BD. Off you go.

BD