The UTI isn't the big issue here, but of course I am "dangerous" to her. The proper DB ettiquette is to always be super clean, encourage before and after pees, and admit guilt. This is only part of the dynamic of course . . .
Only part of the dynamic, indeed. I appreciate what you're trying to do and the willingness to make changes to save your marriage .... *truly* I do .... but be careful that in your enthusiasm to make it work/"fix yourself" that you don't "nice" yourself into a corner (which will likely lead to resentment down the road) or take responsibility for *everything* (which IMHO is a form of control).
Any woman who has every had a UTI never wants one again. Information on prevention (cleanliness, urination, cranberry extract) is freely available. It is Her body, Her pain, and Her responsibility. While it would of course be considerate (in all ways) for you to be squeaky clean, the peeing is in her court; there should be no need to "encourage" an adult woman to do that. I don't see guilt as an issue, with the UTIs especially.
As far as your vigorous thrusting goes ... well, listen to what she has said she wants; kissing etc. Her responsibility is to communicate, in detail, what she enjoys ... your responsibility (assuming you want her to really enjoy it, which I assume you do) is to give her that to the best of your ability.
But as far as "guilt" goes .... if something hurts, a sensible person says "OW, stop!" And if she *didn't* know there was a problem at the time, how could you be expected to?
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
