Heim, you are right, she has done a lot of things that have hurt you and a made you feel violated. But, dwelling on them, playing the victim, snooping to find out new ways you have been wronged, discussing them with your wife (or trying to anyway). Are having absolutely no positive effect on YOU or your R. Focus on the negatives and the outcome will be negative. Focus on the positives and the outcome will be positive.
You have wronged you wife also, that is why your R is where it is today. Does she follow you around telling you how you have wronged her, playing the victim, reminding you how much you have hurt her at every chance she gets. I am guessing no. I am guessing the only time she even says anything about how you have wronged her, is when you are playing the victim to her. I bet the OM loves you. You are like his biggest supporter. Every time you argue with your wife, every time you play the victim with your wife, every time you violate her space and trust, she goes back to him for comfort, because you are being such an ass to her. Each time you are driving her farther from you and deeper into his arms.
DETACH, STOP CONTROLLING, STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM AND GAL. When I say GAL I mean it GET A LIFE. You may be be doing things now to GAL that you did not do before, but you obviously have to much free time on your hands still. Because your main focus seems to be the victim roll and not your life and your happiness.
H, I care about you and your R. Your R has a good chance, but not if you continue on this path.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
