The thing is, if he had a drive to have sex, he would have been looking for partner like the one in your second scenario ever since he hit puberty. He doesn't seem motivated to find such a partner, or to allow you to be that partner.
There is the Mr. Spock fantasy... where the guy is completely shut down sexually until he finds the One Woman who has the key to unlock his hidden Sexual Being. I saw myself in that fantasy when I was younger (maybe even now...). I'm the one woman in the universe who can melt the Ice Prince. Kind of like the reverse of the Sleeping Beauty fantasy.
Is this how you see scenario two? That one day he stumbles upon the Ice Breaker Woman at a conference... and she has the right combination of traits, tricks, and treats to light his fire?
I suppose that's p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e, but that would presuppose that he was open to it, right? Although the times that Spock gave into sexual/romantic feelings were times when his Vulcan reserve was overcome, once by pollen from a flower, and once by time travel.
