I have thought on this too, and part of my response that I was thinking about posting later, in part to Corri's comments, is that with regard to my M, there is little reason to do much more analysis or self introspection. I do what I believe I need to do to make my M work as best it can. That model COMPLETELY differs from what everyone else is trying to do here. I do not have a lot of emotions wrapped up in my W like others do.
So my purpose on this board for some time has not been to restore some lost feeling of love. My purpose is to learn as much as I can of others, to recognize issues, learn how they play out, etc., and do what I can to help my kids later down the road. I am not trying to change myself to salvage my M. The M only has to sustain.
I have no interest in becoming a better person, a more empathic person, whatever. I am who I am. I have made lots of changes. Learning about others lets me think over whether I want to make a change for me or not. But rarely anymore is it for the sake of the M. What I do for the M is to just stand back and let it go. Hold to my boundaries, protect myself and the kids, my assets and finances, but just let it go.
I think part of this is because I feel no reason to do otherwise. I feel no inspiration to change and unless I have an overriding reason, I'm fine with who I am. But continuing to learn more about others and how relationships interact is still important and interesting to me. Call that control if you want. I don't care. That's me. That's really all the stake I have in this.
