I guess you are probably right about OW not minding your husband crawling and begging. Although I'm kind of surprised OW's husband hasn't answered the phone and told your husband to quit calling and go get a life.
Starting your own separate account is not anything you need to discuss with your husband. Since you are going into separation and can not predict the future, you are entitled to do things for you that you don't need to share or discuss with him. In separating households it only makes sense to also do a little gradual financial separation as well. What this means is you can start filtering a savings for yourself to prepare for any unexpected expenses. Just keep enough in the joint account for your husband's basic needs. I have to warn you that if you do go into divorce there's a chance you may have to pay him child support and maybe even alimony. You need to look very closely at this, and document expenses (if you haven't already done so). A man in separation considering divorce would be doing this. Since you are the main breadwinner you cannot be a wimpy woman. You have to take control of these things.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
