Originally Posted By: Bruce1

Mile High:

Just checking in after a few days' absence. How are you and the family doing?


Bruce, thanks for being a real friend. Me and the 2 girls are doing fantastic! \:\) I finally feel relieved that I have stopped worrying about my MLC wife and I am doing everything possible to heal myself and GAL. My W responded to my D petition agreeing to move forward with the process. I am trying my best to delay the process and my L has been good so far. In the meantime, I think my W is with her OM everyday but has stopped exposing my girls to her OM since the D petition came with a strong letter from the L warning her of consequences of a court order to restrict that. I still feel good in filing for my D, not because I don't stand for my M, but that was my only option to protect the girls.

OBTW, W is getting rid of her fancy minivan that she had to have for the benfit of the kids a few years ago. She is shopping for a 2-door sporty coupe, preferably with a sunroof!

The girls take most of the time I have to myself and I really enjoy that. But I am taking deliberate steps in leaving home and doing fun stuff for myself. I will be out of town next few days on work, but this weekend I will be meeting a group for a photo shoot at wine festival up in the mountains. Life is great!

Originally Posted By: Bruce1

keep healing and developing yourself. One day you will look at your side and either see your spouse, or he/she will be so far behind you that at that point it won't matter.


thats an excellent quote that I will hold to forever. thank you! its amazing how much reading and self-reflection can make you a better person. I know you are in the same situation and when your W is stone cold, the best conversation you can have is with yourself. treat that inner person as your best buddy and treat him well in every respect. yes, I do have my ups and downs, but I honestly think that I have been able to get through this crisis thanks to a regular regimen of good diet, yoga, exercise, sleep and reading.

I also wanted to journal here that I have had terrible luck with MCs in my sitch. 2 years ago, my W (who was having multiple EAs then) and I both saw one MC recommended by her friend. He kept bringing up the past which was uncomfortable and not providing any hope to solving our problem. Recently, I saw another one, by myself. This MC supposedly has 30 years of experience. He managed to get my W to come for a counsel by herself. In my 2nd encounter with this MC, he pretty much threw up his hands on me and told me to move on, since my W indicated that she had already made up her mind about leaving me. I was shocked \:o I have posted on this in detail on the 4060 forum. Someday I will initiate an online list of quack MCs in the family therapy business to avoid!

I get the best counsel here on this forum and in the books and tapes. No more MCs for me now. If I do, I will go straight to Michele since she is local. \:\)