Get me on a smoother ride....need advice - part 3

[SueS]

Good morning-

H did call us last night from work. He talked to me for a few minutes and then talked to D3. I heard him ask to talk to me again before he got off the phone with D3. He told me that his boss was taking them out for a few drinks and that it wouldn't be late. He gets off at 9:00 and he didn't get home until 1:00 am. I woke up just before he got home. I wanted to get up when he got home, but wasn't sure if I should push it. I don't know whether to believe that he was really out with his boss or not. It makes me feel like he's avoiding me. I just hope I didn't push him closer to her.

Our refrigerator went out sometime during the night/early morning. I went to get D3 breakfast and it was dead. Went in and asked H to come & look at it. He didn't get up, so I called our landlord (we're just renting). He's going to look for a new one this morning. H said he'd make lunches this morning. I thanked him for that. I leaned over him, told him I'd see him later. No reaction from him, so I just grabbed my things and left. I just want to grab him and shake him and tell him to snap out of it......I'm here, I'm your wife damn it!! I'm the one that has loved you NO MATTER WHAT, through EVERYTHING!

Sorry for the rant!! The landlord called back asking if I'd call H (I was at work by this time) and have him measure the area. Called H and told him what the landlord needed. He said.....Oh, it's too bad that this has to be done now. The guy I talked to about remodeling the kitchen if we buy this place said we should get a bigger fridge. So, H is still thinking about US....about US buying a home....about US having a future. I think Running was right when she said that he probably does still love me, and possibly in some twisted way sees their deal as a "friendship".....although it's crossed some boundry. The thing about the whole A and our schedules being a receipe for it is this.......My H ALWAYS talked about his friend Cheryl from work. He NEVER talked about OW until one day he told me that he and a buddy were taking OW's H out golfing because according to OW, her H never gets out. I thought it was so nice of my H. He even suggested us all becoming friends because of our common interests. We were at OW's house this summer and she even said....Yeah, you're good friend Cheryl. I'd not met her yet, so SHE was the one I was opening my eyes & ears to hear something about....not the actual OW. I finally met Cheryl and she was a wonderful, older lady.....nice as could be. I guess I should have had my eyes & ears open for EVERYONE that could have come into my H's life. Boy do I regret that.

I want to ask my h not to go workout tonight.....just to stay home....watch a movie with me or something. D3 and I are leaving tomorrow to go see my parents. Happy about that, but not happy at the same time.

I started to cry this morning when I left for work. I guess I hadn't gotten the reaction from H that I wanted and D3 noticed it. She asked why I was sad. I just said I was tired. She said.....Okay mommy, you be sad at work, but be happy when you come and pick me up from school. She's so sweet. I didn't want her to see that.

Well, I need to get working.

Have a good day.

SueS