my crazy mess

[christarn]

I think I may have made a huge goof up....I was way frustrated the other day and sent the H a text saying we needed to make some decisions....he never text back....I way regret it....I had talked to one of my friends who just kept saying how can you live like you're living...and thought about it and sent the dang text. I feel bad for doing it because I know that put a lot of pressure on him and probably pushed him the wrong way. It was just a bad day...and like I said in a previous post my frustration is way gettin in the way of my patience right now. My DB coach had also said that I needed to back off, which is way difficult for me....I watched the thread NDDT posted about living life to fullest...it just made me think a ton about what I'm doing. The speaker said if you wait long enough people will surprise you....I wonder if I wait long enough if my H will come around....it's a scary thought! But then I think of what I did,and how I left. I guess only time will tell. Just a little venting this morning!