My wife wants out !!

[dadtotwo]

A common theme on the board seems to be a W or H that finds it easier to go outside the M and find someone else. If my W put just 1/10th of the positive emotional energy into or M that she is putting into OM, who knows what may have been possible. We are left wondering as to why our W or H didn't, or wouldn't, talk to us about their unhappiness and allowed themselves to keep it in to a point it becomes resentment.

I look back on my sitch and don't remember my W offering to help or just come to me in a positive way to express how much our M and family meant to her. Instead she just gets more and more angry and resentful then decides to drop the bomb when there is someone else showing interest in her. When I asked my W why she didn't talk to me she said, "because I don't like conflict". WHAT!!! She would rather cash in her chips and convince herself that our M is not worth the effort and find OM to replace me!!

We take all the blame for the failure of the M and THEY break up the family with the thought that our kids will "adjust". I have to endure the pain of seeing my D5 cry every time I drop her off after spending ONE DAY with her. Both my kids want to know when we are moving back in together? I only can do that one day because I am working in order to maintain the expenses and give my W money for my kids.

I just want to understand why so many spouses go outside the M for comfort when they don't feel the M is working?? Then they never take responsibility for the lack of effort. Outside of an abusive R, every effort should be made to bring your M into a better place. If you give it your all, and it still isn't working, at least you can move on with a clear conscience.