All hope is lost/help

[Evie]

Thanks for listening.

The advice i'm receiving on these boards is invaluable and I couldn't do it with out everyone's help.

I agree with timelines. Someone suggested that only I know my timeline and only H will know his timeline??? I don't have a timeline atm, i'm just taking every day as it comes. I think H's timeline is when our property abroad sells and we have more cash, we had talked about paying our mortgage off on our current property, but I think he will then wish to sell the home and then move on?

Perhaps I should look beyond Christmas, but even then I'm not looking to end this R, I need to learn my H's LL & pray I can do all I CAN to improve things. When I think of how things were in May things are much better now, not so tense and I don't feel so anxious, maybe b/c things are in the open now and H has his space & i'm working on me.

If we were to go on holiday again like we did in July i know I would be much more independant and not be treading on egg shells around him as I have been. I need to sit down and look for the small improvements and maybe re-focus my goals.

I just don't think my H is open to rebuilding the R, he doesn't understand the concept of deeper love as opposed to the first flush of romance, I have no idea what is in his head or if he is feeling any kind of connection??

Grace - whats your stitch? What r u doing to DB? is it working?

i hear what you are saying about where i want to be in 2,5 10 years? Time to think outside the box.. Maybe i have been so wrapped up in my ssoooooo busy life i do NEED to think about what i want and start to actually listen to the non verbal talk in my house. It's such a busy household that we hardly have time for one another.

I have been through 1 very bitter divorce and do not want to go through another. I have to work full time and I also have to help out with our business, if I don't, I stand to lose out financially in the long run. I have 2 teenage D's and 2 small s's, can't change those. H works 24/7 and things won't change there ( I think he really likes the pressure from it. I feel history is repeating itself and that I will be left will 2 small kiddies while H is free to have freedom). I guess what I would like is more time with H and time as a family.

I'm sorry, i'm waffling, good to vent though.

Grace - keep posting me, I would love to hear more about your stitch.

XD