SD - I like to do people favours (I suppose I am a bit of a pleaser) - both H and my friends.
When they say "no, it's OK" I feel hurt. I explained to H that when I offer him a favour (like pick him up from when he's workign late) that if he turns it down I feel hurt. I feel like I am being pushed away. I also explained that I had chosen to offer him the favour. He would turn it down thinking he was being loving. I explained that him turning it down as well felt like him deciding my actions, so in a funny way it felt like control over me.
But the main upshot of that my H thought he was being loving by saying "no, no it's OK, don't pick me up, just stay home" when in fact it was having the OPPOSITE effect of what he wanted. Now he accepts all favours (and even asks for some!!!!) AOS is one of my big LL's.
Does that make any sense? I remeber you saying your H sounded a lot like mine, and I agree (especially the fact he can never remember anything!). Maybe REALLY SPELLING IT ALL OUT might be the key. And not giving him too much to deal with at once, sticking to 2 0r 3 points and recycling to reinforce thouse (you're a teacher, you will likely know what I mean)
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
