There and Back, #7

[mkultra]

Homer MacDonald says that the WS does not respect himself so he has lower respect for the LBS who is pursuing him. THE WS sees the LBS as lower when she refuses to see that the world is filled with beautiful men that would like and respect the LBS.

You mentioned some things about your H that may show this is true. His comment about seeing you as a sister but also his comment about how he thinks you are better in bed than someone else. His comment about staying friends but also his comments about being confused. He is teetering. That puts you through hell so dating others is what Homer advises.

40. TRW – Tantalize, Reassure and Worry.
Tantalize her, reassure her, and worry her. Now tantalize means all of your virtues – your intelligence, your good looks, your self-confidence, your education, your ability to make money, anything that is attractive to the market. You tantalize her with that. She already knows about that.
The reassure means you reassure her by your actions and your attitude that you are not going to get too close to her, that you’re not going to be possessive, that you’re not going to be jealous, that you’re not going to be controlling.
And worry her means worry her that she can lose you. Of course, that sounds very strange to a man who calls and I teach him the TRW strategy. “She’s not worried about losing me. She wants to lose me.” That was Steve’s attitude in Minnesota. “Kathy is not jealous at all.” But when I got him to start having an affair out in the open, she decided one Sunday that she wanted to visit with Steve. So she drove up to the cabin that they had lived in for years. But somebody else’s car was there. Another woman’s car. She turned around, didn’t even go up to the door. She just turned around and went home. About midnight, she phoned him very
angry. She was always very respectful. She would never call anybody after 9:30 or at least 10:00 in the evening. Here she calls him late at night. She had been divorcing him, and didn’t even want to talk to him before then.
He comes over and visits with her. They’re rolling on the floor, hugging and kissing, and she’s apologizing. “I don’t have the right to this kind of feeling. I didn’t know I would have this kind of feeling.” He was very understanding.
A woman does not feel that she’s losing her husband by divorcing him, because she’s become so addicted to her picture of him as clinging and begging and totally in love with her that that’s the picture that’s controlling her emotions. So she doesn’t feel that getting a divorce really loses him.
So often, a wife will say to her husband, “Oh, I hear you were out with Karen yesterday.” He says, “I was just having coffee with her. She doesn’t hold a candle to you.” So he
immediately gives her reassurance that he is still waiting in the wings for her. It’s like she’s got a Mercedes Benz in her garage and she’s gotten bored with it. So he gives her reassurance that the Mercedes is still in the garage, if and when she ever wants it. “I’ll always be there for
you.” So she doesn’t do anything any different, just keeps on divorcing him and having
nothing to do with him.
But if she sees another woman jump in her Mercedes Benz and drive off, she hits the panic
button and starts chasing him. “That’s my Mercedes! Get out of my car!” Then we’ve got her chasing the husband. He was chasing her, and now the roles have been reversed.

41. Keep A Happy Attitude
People who are being rejected, of course, have hurt feelings. They have grief. They have
depression. In this technique, you imagine hitting some object, a table, pillow or wall. You
attack with each word, and you deny that it hurts at all. “It doesn’t hurt. I feel great. Nothing
else matters at all, because I feel great.” The hidden logic there is that if you feel great,
everything else is going to get better and better, because everything comes from your mood
and attitude.
Of course, the old traditional way that most people still believe is, “Oh, this puts you in denial
when it’s really hurting. You’re just covering up the hurt.” No, you’re kicking out the hurt.