Started typing a quick reply, got a phone call, and it disappeared... Good counseling with Michele today. No MAJOR breakthroughs, but good stuff after my H finally would stop ranting about nothing in particular. He wants to move back in, though is afraid b/c of advice given to him that it would "blur the lines". I took Michele's cue not to push on this one. Easier for her, of course!! She asked him if he thought he would be able to express his need for mor time around the house "for his comfort" if he needed it. (I have already told him he may not come by unannounced.) He is SO unable to ask for what he needs/wants (big part of all the anger and resentment he's got. He could not say he would. he feels really rensentful that I am the one in the house- blah, blah, blah. He went home to take over with our daughter after that and fixed the screen door- small and not so small token as I see it!
She also asked him to share with me in what way he was hurting since he said he was, but has not expressed it. She said I'll bet she doesn't know. He said he cries evry day on his way to work, and that he wakes up at 4 a.m. (he's always been an early riser, but that's beyond) and wants to walk the dogs and see his daughter before he goes to work.
By the way, his OW lives across country. A few days after our first session with Michele he volunteered the info that they are no longer speaking AT ALL. I began to ask who he had been talking to and stopped myself. He offerd that info and brought it up again later in the day. He has been showing jealous behavior over me even though he has no cause. Any time I appear happy, he seems to wonder who I must just have been with. Even asked me if I was falling in love the other day when a girl friend of mine called, and (he didn't know who was on the other end of the phone) I was happy to hear from her!!
Well that's my disjointed rambling for tonight. I am less sad right now, but wary of when the next wave will hit. I know I am getting better at doing this DB stuff the right way, but damn is it hard. I pray all the time for strength and spirit and for my words and actions to come from God through me!
